Pies in the sky

Ah, sugar.  More delicious sugar.  Remember, we're not passing along health food here, just something to give a sweet lift and a bright laugh to a day.   Sweets aren't a 'reward' for any behaviour (that way of thinking went out with wedgies and fedoras) - other than a nice giving thought you want to extend. 

Sweets aren't something to complete a regular part of any diet, and to that we all are aware.  But they are certainly there for those special times of celebration, a kindness, a token to brighten a day - or for no reason at all - they're there to fill a rare spot. 

I just had to be an adult here for a tiny moment.

You’ve already gotten a cupboard full of cakes – distinctively different ones that will make you have that one-of-a-kind offering when bringing one of them out to your friends or your special event.  The completely unique and surprising Avocado Cheesecake was passed along to you earlier to try for the holidays.  Well, hopefully, this selection of pies will give you that same culinary edge.  These have been swirling in my head for some time, and now I get to pass them along to you to try and see how happily you can get your dessert kitchen to carry on with a delicious reputation.

Dirty Banana cream pie

something more than bananas in this one

When in Jamaica some time ago, I was treated to a cocktail that quickly became my favorite.  They called it the Dirty Banana.  It was a blended drink, of ice (of course), banana, cream and Tuaca liqueur – a wonderful Italian brandy with a vanilla base. 

Yes, it is a ‘dirty’ look, not a creamy yellow, but a rather dull and not so pretty tan, but trust me – so worth the color alteration.  I usually don’t indulge much in the ‘hard’ alcoholic drink realm, especially the fancy ones, but you can be sure I had at least one Dirty Banana every day while I was there! 

Thus the inspiration for a new take on Banana Cream pie – and further, an easy shift to a Coconut Cream pie (both big loves in my world)!  

There is so little liqueur in these pies (like chocolate-covered liqueur cherries), I wouldn’t be concerned with anyone partaking, but it’s always good to ask (remember, vanilla extract is mostly alcohol as well, and we're staying close to that same amount)..

So, here’s to you Ocho Rios, and thanks for your tasty contribution to my world of cooking!

Crust:  Graham cracker and Fig Newton crust (¾ portion graham crackers – about 12-16 crackers, ¼ portion Fig Newton – about 4-6 fig bars, depending on the size of your chosen pie pan), ¾ to 1 cube melted and cooled butter (as you prefer butter richness), 3 tbs sugar, pinch nutmeg, ¼ cup slivered almonds – in processor, pulse to ‘coarse sand’ add melted butter while running.  Pack in pie dish or springform pan, bake at 350° till just smelling like cookies and let cool, about ten minutes.   

                                    or

Store-bought graham cracker crust (large if possible), or store-bought pie crust, baked till golden, crisp and done, according to directions on the package.

Filling: Separate 3 xl eggs, use yolks, let whites come to room temp while making filling (for meringue topping if you’re choosing that direction) or freeze for later use.

3     egg yolks (or 4, if larger pie)

3     tbs corn starch (or 4, if larger pie)

½   cup white sugar

3     tbs brown sugar

1     very ripe banana, mashed and let set till like a ‘paste’, added

Mash/whisk to blend well.

2    cups milk brought to ‘bathwater’ hot

½   tsp salt

¼   tsp almond extract

Introduce a small drizzle of hot milk to the egg mix, quickly whisk/blend and thin the egg mix, then slowly add about 1 cup more, and quickly whisk/blend again.  Pour egg/milk mixture back into saucepan of hot milk and bring up to a simmer, whisking till thick and beginning to bubble large bubbles, about five minutes.  Remove from heat and add almond extract, let cool.

2-3    tbs Tuaca  brandy liqueur

2-3    ripe but firm bananas, quartered and sliced

            (or just sliced, as you prefer), tossed with

            the Tuaca  and let set, stirring occasionally,

            five to ten minutes minimum (a process called

            macerating)

Fold macerated bananas and any residual Tuaca into cooled cream mix, blend carefully and well.  Spoon into the cooled pie shell.  Keep at a cool room temp while making the topping, or if no topping is desired, cover and chill.

Options:  Prepared packaged vanilla or banana pudding mixes may be used with great results, just be sure to reduce the milk ingredient from three cups to two.  If using the cooked version, let cool to tepid before adding the other ingredients.

Drizzle the finished, topped pie with caramel sauce (below), and/or top with crushed roasted nuts (hazelnuts, almonds, pecans) or dried salted banana chips (yes!).

Dirty Coconut cream pie

Crust:  Graham cracker and Fig Newton crust (¾ portion graham crackers – about 12-16 crackers, ¼ portion Fig Newton – about 4-6 fig bars – depending on the size of your chosen pie pan), ¾ to 1 cube melted and cooled butter (as you prefer butter richness), 3 tbs sugar, pinch nutmeg, ¼ cup slivered almonds – in processor, pulse to ‘coarse sand’ add melted butter while running.  Pack in pie dish or springform pan, bake at 350° till just smelling like cookies and let cool, about ten minutes.  

                                  or

Store-bought graham cracker crust (large if possible), or store-bought pie crust, baked till golden, crisp and done, according to the directions on the package.  Let cool to room temperature.

Filling: Separate 3 xl eggs, use yolks, let whites come to room temp while making filling (for meringue topping if you’re choosing that direction) or freeze for later use.

3    egg yolks (or 4, if larger pie)

3     tbs corn starch (or 4, if larger pie)

½   cup white sugar

3     tbs brown sugar

Mash/whisk to blend well.

2     cups milk brought to ‘bathwater’ hot

½   tsp salt

¼   tsp almond extract

Introduce a small drizzle of hot milk to the egg mix, quickly whisk/blend and thin the egg mix, then slowly add about 1 cup more, and quickly whisk/blend again.  Pour egg/milk mix back into saucepan of hot milk and bring up to a simmer, whisking till thick and beginning to bubble large bubbles, about five minutes.  Remove from heat and add almond extract, let cool.

2-3   tbs Tuaca  brandy liqueur

 1     package coconut flakes or

10-12 oz fresh from the natural

             or health food (ha) store, best

             if laid out on sheet pan and gently

             roasted for five to ten minutes at

             350̊ till lightly golden, very aromatic

             and barely, slightly crisped.

Fold in the Tuaca, then the cooled coconut into cooled cream mix, blend well.   Spoon into the pie shell.  Keep at a cool room temp while making topping, or if no topping is desired, cover and chill.

Options:  Prepared packaged vanilla or coconut pudding mixes may be used with great results, just be sure to reduce the milk ingredient from three cups to two.  If using the cooked version, let cool before adding other ingredients.

Turtle pie

I can’t think of anyone who doesn’t love those chocolate, caramel and nut confections called ‘turtles’.  Making a pie with the same rich mix seemed only natural to my perverse sweet way of thinking.  Yes, it is superbly evil, and was one of the first to go at my testing party (the Avocado Cheesecake gave it a run for its money!).

Crust: Store-bought pie crust (bottom only), baked to golden and crisp according to package instructions, let cool to room temperature.   

    

                                   or

Pulse in processor 16 to 20 chocolate cookies (not Oreo’s with the cream filling, but Oreo’s with the cookie only or similar type chocolate cookie), with ¾ to 1 cube melted and cooled butter (drizzled in while processor is running), 3 tbs sugar (vanilla sugar, if you have it!) and ¼ cup slivered almonds.   Press into pie pan or spring-form pan and bake at 350̊ till it smells like cookies, about 10 minutes, remove and let cool.

If all that you have is regular Oreo-type cookies, go ahead and use them, but omit the butter (the Oreo filling is basically vegetable shortening and sugar).  Mix and assemble as the other recipe above.

Filling bottom - Caramel sauce:  A light-colored pan makes it easier to observe the color of the sugar turning to caramel, which is the main detection of readiness.

 1    cup sugar

¼    cup water

½    cube butter, cut into several slices

½    cup cream

pinch salt

¼-½ tsp cayenne (as you like the spice)

¼    cup chopped roasted nuts (pecans,

          hazelnuts, almonds etc)

Bring sugar, spices and water to boil, boil at a high heat till all sugar is dissolved, swirling occasionally until deep golden amber and making largish bubbles (about fifteen minutes).  Drop in butter, swirl to blend and melt all, then right away remove from heat and pour in cream, let bubble, continue to swirl well to blend to a calm simmer, then (and only now) stir well with a whisk or spoon till a thick, cohesive sauce.  Let cool to a warm room temp.  Pour/slather into baked pie shell to coat bottom, at least ¼-½ inch deep, sprinkle nuts over and gently press to let settle in.  Chill to firm.

Chocolate filling:

Packaged cooked-style chocolate pudding works fine. 

        Reduce milk from three cups to two cups,

        prepared according to package instructions

Blend all well to creamy and thick, let cool till tepid, and slather over caramel coating and level off the top.

Chocolate ganache top coating:

1    cup cream or 1 cup milk plus 1 tbs butter

1    tbs white or dark Karo type corn syrup

½   pound plus a bit (9 oz) of bittersweet

       chocolate shavings, or quality chocolate chips

Splash of either hazelnut, almond or coffee liqueur –

       or dark rum (as you prefer, makes a

       wonderful flavor finish!)

Heat cream or milk/butter to scalding, remove from heat.  Add chocolate bits and let set one minute untouched.  Gently stir to blend until dark and thick.  Let cool slightly.  Stir in the liqueur until completely incorporated.  Pour over chocolate pudding layer, gently smoothing out to a shiny top.  Circle finished pie surface with pecan halves, if you like, for a nice presentation.  Chill pie to set.

Options:  White chocolate pieces/shavings, chocolate chips and/or butterscotch chips may be folded into the slightly cooled chocolate pudding layer. 

Saltiness is a great companion to caramel.  You can sprinkle over the drizzeled caramel topping with sea salt, or other crunchy-type salts.  But take this just a bit further and embed into the molten caramel bottom a layer of salted peanuts, or salted cashews - or 'party' mix, or salted macadamia.   Oooh, yes! 

Drizzled caramel or shaved chocolate and/or roasted chopped nuts may be sprinkled over finished topping choice for your pie if you choose to add a topping.           

For time’s sake, the caramel portion may be made of about a cup to a cup and a half of purchased caramel candy cubes, heated (with cayenne) till melted either in double boiler or in micro at 75% power, half a minute at a time (stir each time) till pourable.  Likewise for an easier time commitment, instant chocolate pudding may be chosen, but remember also reducing the milk addition from three cups to two.

Mud Pies (frozen at its evilest)

Funny name for a reaaaaally great dessert.  Not too hard to make, but a big WOW factor.

Crust:  Pulse in processor 16 to 20 chocolate cookies (not Oreo’s with the cream filling, but Oreo’s with the cookie only or similar type crisp chocolate cookie), with ¾ to 1 cube melted and cooled butter (drizzled in while processor is running), 3 tbs sugar (vanilla sugar would be perfect!) and ¼ cup slivered almonds.  Press into pie pan or spring-form pan and bake at 350̊ till it smells like cookies, about 10 minutes, remove and let cool. 

If all that you have is regular Oreo-type cookies, go ahead and use them, but omit the butter (the filling is basically vegetable shortening and sugar).  Mix and assemble as the other recipe above.
      

                                         or

Store-bought chocolate cookie piecrust or store-bought graham cracker piecrust, or homemade graham cracker crust (see Avocado Cheesecake recipe).   

Filling bottom: Try either or both of the aforementioned caramel and the chocolate ganache – if both, the chocolate over the caramel as they have cooled enough to pour but not melt the other.  Nuts between are great if you like.  Let cool, then refrigerate.

Filling:  You guessed it, your favorite ice cream, frozen yogurt, or frozen pudding dessert of your liking.  Bring out of the freezer as you’re starting the crust, so that it is workable by the time you fill the crust (about 20 minutes or so, but be careful of melting).  Pack well into the shell, return the filled pie (now covered with wax paper or plastic wrap), this time to the freezer and let set up to firm – at least a couple of hours.  When serving, let set out a bit to soften enough to cut, then top with your choice of your favorite toppings and toppers.

Oh, My! Pie

Ok, I've given you all the ingredients and styles - now it's up to you to make sumthin outrageously perfect from that library of info.

Why not try a crisp, flaky pie crust (pre-baked and cooled, whether cookie or pastry), then layer about a half-inch of caramel on it.  But when making that caramel, only add one-third the cream but all the butter.  It makes it more crispy.  Onto the still soft molten deliciousness, sprinkle a half cup of semi-sweet chocolate shavings or chips.  The heat of the caramel will melt them.   Then in the gooey soft and spreadable chocolate, sprinkle flaked, slivered or chopped almonds (smile, you've just made Almond Roca).  Over this you can slather one of the puddings (dirty banana, dirty coconut, chocolate - or especially the Avocado cheesecake!) - chill to set, then serve close to room temperature.  .  I'm drooling as I type.

Hey, make that a cold pie and cover the Almond Roca with your fave ice cream or frozen dessert.

Rice or oat pudding anyone?  Corn pudding do I hear?  Just mix in a bit of dissolved and melted gelatin.  The ideas just pour.  Like chocolate ganache.  Mmmm.

Toppings: 

           

Italian meringue:

Use a glass, copper or metal bowl (enameled is safest).  Do not use plastic (I found out the hard way), or any bowl that has any oil or wax residue (as wood may have).  Clean the bowl that you have chosen very well with detergent dish soap – and rinse and dry very well.

Wiping down with a clean paper towel/cloth with a bit of white vinegar will also help prepare the bowl for meringue.

2-3    egg whites, room temp

Beaten till frothy

¼   tsp each cream of tartar and salt

½   tsp white vinegar

Beat till just getting stiff peaks, three to five minutes.

1    cup sugar simmered in ¼ cup

           (or slightly more if necessary) water

           till about 240-250° (large bubbles)

Heat syrup in shallow pan, easy to pour from.  Slowly drizzle all hot syrup into beaten egg whites at medium speed (in egg area of bowl, not sides of pan or beaters area), raise speed to high, continue till cooled and thick and shiny meringue, about five minutes.

Slather over pie filling (yes, even the ice cream pie, right out of the freezer), sealing to edges, dab out peaks and texture if desired, put pie back in 400° oven for five to ten minutes or till evenly golden on top.  Serve chilled, room temp or chilled slightly cooler than room temperature – whichever works best for the type of pie you’re serving.

Whipped cream topping:

½    cup heavy cream

¼    cup sugar (best if fine or powdered)

pinch salt

½    tsp vanilla extract (or use vanilla sugar below)

Beat till foamy, then the sugar very slowly, and vanilla, while whipping and bring to stiff peaks.  Dollop over served slice pie, or a piped ring on whole pie perimeter

Mascarpone: (very much like cream cheese, but a bit lighter and more ‘delicate’ – yowza good!), whipped with a fork to an even lighter consistency, then sweetened with honey/maple syrup/brown sugar/sugar/vanilla extract – or not – spooned over the served slice.

Crème fraiche / fromage blanc:  the same mix, sweetener options and presentation as the mascarpone.

Sour cream:  Sweetened with a bit of brown sugar and almond extract – lovely.

Toppers:   Caramel sauce; butterscotch sauce; chocolate sauce or ganache; fruit preserves/jams; marshmallow cream (warmed!); crushed (toasted) nuts, flaked coconut, seeds, and granolas; dried fruits (raisins, Craisins, figs, dates, dried cherries etc); M & M’s and other candies (crushed Butterfinger, nut brittle, Oreo’s etc); candied sprinkles and flakes.  Oh my.  

Vanilla sugar 

When I lived in Paris, the only way I could find vanilla was in a 'sugar' form.  It was in packets that were equivalent to a teaspoon of vanilla extract.  It was just something I got used to.  Here in the US, however, that find isn't as regular as it was there and then. 

One way to make it yourself is to take vanilla beans you've used for other projects and have scraped the tiny seeds out of the split pod.  That pod may be carefully rinsed of any broth, milk or other liquid it may have been steeped in - and placed into the depths of your specific sugar container.  That's a heck of a lot better'n throwing them away, and since most every use you have for sugar is in a confection sense, the vanilla only enhances that use. 

Vanilla sugar may also be created by dropping with an eye-dropped, ten or twelve drops of vanilla extract spread around into a quart container of sugar, sealing well, and shaking from time to time.  Eventually the alcohol-based extract will evaporate/seep into the granules of sugar (give it at least a week), and the shaking helps to distribute and break up the ten or twelve drops you've added.  Or you can do both efforts, and create a wonderfully delicious version of sugar that you can store separately from the 'regular' sugar for those special dishes and beverages that will greatly intensify from this simple addition.